But I want to stay in tonight...(why it's ok to honor your desire to say "No" to yet a
What excuse can I use this time?! There seems to be a negative opinion that staying home is a bad thing. That not attending parties or girls night out means you're antisocial or that you don't want friends. We fear that people will view us differently because we view ourselves differently. We don't feel comfortable being honest with ourselves or others about wanting to refuse an invitation and stay home. This is one way disconnection from our true Self occurs. Inauthenticity happens by trying to please others all the time when it doesn't vibe with your own needs. So why do we fear the retaliation from others or ourselves if we choose to stay in? Society has taken control to push people toward extroversion. Think about it, we feel guilty refusing an invitation to stay home. We make up an excuse because we fear that others won't approve of the real reason we're staying home. I see memes with these excuses all over Facebook. P.S. You aren't fooling anyone. I've been there. I was an extrovert on the outside but a full blown introvert inside. I felt anxious when I would get invited somewhere because I didn't want to share the real reason I didn't want to go. It caused a lot of stress. That alone time that I craved was spent consumed with judgement from myself. I told myself something was probably wrong with me. It's “normal” to go out and by not wanting to go out I wasn't normal, right? Wrong. There's nothing wrong with me. I light up when I am with myself or in my home with my family. I prefer this life. There are some people (extroverts) who get their energy from being around others and in the outer world. They crave social interactions and truly enjoy being out and about. This is their true Self getting what it needs. An extrovert’s true Self can sometimes appear much louder than an introvert. Introverts become re-energized by taking time to themselves, often this time is quiet and reflective and sometimes it's catching up on some tv. Realty: that's not a bad thing. Introverts prefer their inner worlds. Just because extroverts have louder energies doesn't mean an introvert don't get a voice. Give your true Self what it needs. It's your job to awaken to and honor your voice and your needs. No more stifling your energy and your true Self and ignoring it because someone else's voice is louder. Be open to hearing your inner self and listen to it. So, in case you're like me and are introverted at heart, it needs to be said: it's ok to stay home! Own that preference. There's nothing wrong with you if you don't go to girls night every week. There's nothing wrong if you decline another party invitation that you really don't want to go to. There's nothing wrong with you! You can own your introversion and your need to stay in and get cozy, yes even if you just want to catch up on the new season of Stranger Things. Everyone has moments in which they are introverted and moments where they are extroverted. Be honest with yourself about what you prefer. What lights your true Self up? Do you feel energized and authentic when you spend a lot of time in the outer world or do you light up during moments of quiet reflection? Truth: being an introvert in an extrovert’s world is challenging. Let the extroverts have their fun and you have yours. That fun doesn't have to look alike. There's freedom in owning your introversion. Give yourself permission to say no more. Own your power and your voice. Own your right and ability to honestly and authentically refuse. Try this conscious commitment “I choose to stay in and honor myself” and take your power back! I should mention, being an introvert and truly honoring your needs is different than depression. If you are masking your feelings or needs out of fear or distraction, this is not honoring. Honoring is a deep, soulful respect for yourSelf. If you're staying in because you feel intense sadness all the time and feel hopeless, this is different than introversion. If you feel you may be depressed, please consider talking with a professional and honor your Self by taking care of You.